That Guy

Remember being at a party or a bar or in a class when you saw That Guy across the room — and he was looking at you, too? And how, all of a sudden, the day got just special, kinda exciting? And your heart started beating just a little bit faster?

Maybe he inched toward you, maybe you inched toward him — can’t remember exactly who moved first, but pretty soon there you were and there he was, standing right next to you. Your heart was pounding so’s that’s all you could hear. You were too giddy to speak, hoping he’d go first.

You held your breath; he opened his mouth and —

Nothing. He had nothing, really, to say. He was bland. He was boring. He wasn’t That Guy, after all.

Ladies and gentlemen — meet Earl.

Not the bad boy Earl we’ve been obsessing over for days, but a kinder, gentler Earl who merely grazes our southern fingertips with his lips instead of moving in for a whirlwind deep kiss before leaving us, broken and powerless.

And it’s okay. Yes, it is. We saw waves this afternoon, and they were plenty big enough for me.

Maybe we’ll get some rain. We’ll probably get some wind, but it’s still pretty wimpy out there. Honestly, I will be happier without tree limbs crashing down. And with the electricity staying on. I’m still a little spacy from the root canal I had this morning so I’ll probably go to bed early. A little bland and boring myself…

But I fully intend to be on the beach first thing in the morning to survey whatever Earl has left behind.

Oh, look. Isn’t that Gaston in the corner there, by the punch bowl? I wonder if he could be That Guy?

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