Move over, Paul Krugman, I’ve got The Word on Money from Alton, my Tree Guy. Remember him?
He was back today with his son Dale to trim some trees at our beach property. I forgot the camera so I’m recycling an old picture.
The heat index here today was 105 degrees. That’s hot, even if you’re a born and bred Southerner. During a break, Alton wiped his face with a wet bandanna and then started in on the BP oil spill.
“Well,” Alton said. “That thing coulda been fixed in five, mebbe six days.” He talked real fast – and with a lot of hand motions – about how you’d drill into a whosis and tap off the whatsis and it sounded like it made sense.
Who knows? The guy had two big trucks, a cherry picker, three different sized front-end loaders, and an assortment of chain saws and tools spread out all along the block. He’s a genius in terms of maneuvering around unruly branches and dropping gnarled limbs to the ground without breaking a sweat or the neighbor’s fencepost. He might have been blowing more than hot air.
Still, this is when he really started talking sense to me: “You gotta make it about the money, y’know? Make it worth it to someone to fix the damn thing. Then someone’d figure out how to fix it.
“Tell ya, you got a tree up on top of the Empire State Building and you wanna pay.” He pointed to his son. “Him and me’ll figure out a way to get up there and cut it.”
He held out his hand and rubbed his thumb across his fingertips.
“Make it about the money. We got a problem with beavers up at our farms and so the guy from the county comes out and asks me do I got any idea how to get rid of them beavers. I tell him, put a bounty on ‘em.
“Put a bounty on ‘em – 10, 15, 20 dollars a head. Dale here and ten of his buddies’ll be out there in a minute, and them beavers’ll be gone by morning. It’ll sound like World War II out there for a while, but by dawn next day them beavers’ll be gone.
I guarantee it.”
He hitched his pants up and headed back to his truck.
Break – and finance lesson – was over.
Ain’t it the truth though. Except most people nowdays want to come up with the idea, charge you just for listening to it, and never get up off their lazy (donkey) and do it themselves. It is the “new” way. Pay me to think, not to work. Working for money is for those other people. Like Alton – God I love those guys.
heh heh. You would even more with a visual….
Oh, I like him. I bet you’re having fun just listening to him (and watching, of course).
I wonder if he has any ideas on how to fix the housing market? How about unemployment, and how to get my kids to work harder in school.
Yeah, I’m sorry the tree work is done and I won’t get to listen to him any more. I think he has ideas on just about everything, so I’m sure he could fix the housing market and unemployment.
I know he doesn’t think much of higher education, though. Gotta be more practical than that.
Why do idiots always end up in charge of the most critical situations???
You related this conversation beautifully, Nancy. I, as you, believe Alton could accomplish more if put in charge of the oil spill than those who are botching it now.
Thanks, Shaddy. BTW, your comment ended up in my spam folder today for some reason.
Makes darn good sense to me! Mebbe we should send Alton to talk to those BP guys – get them off their duffs.
You bet. Really, these guys can maneuver around ANYTHING. Dale could probably crochet lace with the bucket on one of those front-end loaders — he has amazing control of that thing. I’ll bet he could figure out how to cap that well.
The work-a-day laborers fix what the word-a-minute managers break.
So true, John! Thanks for visiting.
I love this, mostly because I love the way you painted the characters sooo concisely and perfectly. I felt like I was there. Great job!!
BTW, I hope Alton is right…and soon.