A Gnashing of Teeth (and other body parts)

What have I been doing for the past couple of months?

I’ve been reading my writing buddies’ blogs without contributing anything of my own. And seeing my buddies produce wonderful, creative, insightful writing. Thanks, guys. You’re inspirational and guilt-producing at the same time. It’s a lovely combination (I mean that) and I’m grateful to you.

I’ve been worrying about how the hell I’ll be able to pull approximately 1,666 2/3 words out of my butt – I mean my head – EVERY DAY during November and NaNoWriMo. That’s close to 4 pages single-spaced, 12 point Times New Roman, in case you were wondering.

I’ve been trying to turn Buddy’s and Earlene’s lives into worthwhile reading, and they are absolutely NOT helping me right now. They are SO not funny or amusing and I want to smack Earlene even more than usual for not coming up with something that turns her into that winsome, shrewd beech you love to hate – I just hate her right now. You would, too, if you could stay awake long enough to read my current chapter-in-progress.

But here is the worst part: It is glaringly obvious that I am not, and will never be, Carl Hiaasen. No matter how much I might want to be. And I do wanna be. Not the golf part, of course, but everything else.

Earlene would never, in her current incarnation, make it into Draft One of a Hiaasen novel. She was okay in chapter one of the Natasha novel, but she’s gotten radically less interesting the more we’ve gotten to know each other and she’s still wandering around in the middle of it. Carl would have pitched her into the dumpster in a Florida heartbeat.

I am having A Bad Writing Day. To be honest, I’m having A Bad Writing Week. I’m not sure how y’all cope with BWDs or BWWs, but I certainly welcome any ideas to get past it. I’ve tried the “run through the pain” technique and I am producing words, painfully, but nothing I feel like saving. At least with running you get to work down your thighs a bit.

I thought crabbing about it here for a bit might help. Not so much. Not yet, at least. I sure am open to any ideas, sympathy, and some virtual chocolate, though.

Speaking of which, I’m getting ready to make a birthday cake for A’s birthday and thought I’d try this one: http://www.epicurious.com/recipes/food/views/White-Chocolate-Tartlets-with-Strawberries-and-Bananas-103302

I’ll probably use walnuts or almonds instead of hazelnuts. And then put a layer of white chocolate (if Harris Teeter has decent white chocolate) on top of the bittersweet chocolate in the crust. Then I think I’ll use vanilla ice cream as the filling instead of the white chocolate/whipping cream filling. And ditch the bananas; I think strawberries and raspberries would be nicer. What do you think?

This adaptation should be pretty easy to veganize as well with Smart Balance instead of butter and Tofutti or Purely Decadent instead of ice cream. Probably have to exclude the white chocolate; Ghirardelli semi-sweet chocolate passes the vegan test.

So that’s it for now. I’m gonna let Earlene stew in her own juice until tomorrow and see if we can get on better terms then.

Adios, amigas.

4 comments to A Gnashing of Teeth (and other body parts)

  • Man do I want a nice big square of Dark Chocolate right about now. Except there is that little problem with my face breaking out like a teenage last week when my dear sweet hubby brought me home a bar and I ate the whole thing in a matter of two days. Not to mention the calories I consumed when I dipped it into the Peanut butter jar.
    Let Shirley stew for the night. I completely understand. I am so mad at Phoebe right now I could take her out back and give her a Good Ole Florida Redneck Beatin’.
    Nano scares the heck out of me too! But, I also look forward to the challange. Maybe if either of us gets stuck we can bounce ideas off each other.

  • Put it down and walk away!!! Put it down now–put the novel down before you kill someone you love!
    okay…but really. Without a doubt when I am teeth gnashing I put it down and take a break for at least a week. Work on another project then look at it with new eyes. I always preach the ‘new eyes’ concept because it always works for me.
    One other suggestion, post it…I really want to read some :o) hee hee. I promise to give honest feedback.

  • Gail

    I cope with bad writing days by walking away from the computer and nurturing myself, instead. Sometimes that means taking a long walk in nature with my dog (wow, you have a beach, how great is that?), getting a massage, or taking a lovely bubble bath with candles and a glass of red wine (or ALL of the above). I find baking to be a very Zen activity and the sugary rewards of tasting along the way to be quite soothing. On that note, I say “yes!” to ditching the bananas, because berries do sound so much nicer. And Purely Decadent coconut milk vanilla bean ice cream would make it divine!

  • Nancy

    Wow, the Purely Decadent coconut milk/vanilla bean sounds WONDERFUL. I went with plain vanilla. And I just finished dipping strawberries in chocolate, which was waaay fun, and I tried decorating some of the strawberries with white chocolate drizzle, but they look kind of messy. So I may have to eat those myself, instead of putting them on the cake.

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